About a year ago a British artist had taken grey books on doctoral school cars. The reason a cerebral narcissist will initiate sex with his partner, which is quite rare, is if he has reached a conclusion that he's about to lose her.
It's a reflection of abandonment anxiety or anticipatory loss anxiety. He thinks there are signs that he may lose her. She found a man and it's more than sex. Something going on there, which is much more than sex. So this is what we call reclaimed sex. Reclaimed sex is sex intended to reclaim, to take back the partner and so he does. I did it quite a few times. He does and then the partner comes and the partner comes.
There is intimacy. It's a partner. It's not a stranger. It's much easier for the cerebral to do it with a stranger. But with a partner, there's intimacy. There's common history. There are experiences. There are expectations. There are hopes and dreams and talks and there's a life together. And in the cerebral's mind and the somatic's mind, actually the narcissist's mind, intimacy is the antidote to sex. And that's why narcissists in sex dehumanize and objectify the partner, which is one of the main reasons they gravitate to be DSM and so on.
So he cannot dehumanize and objectify, for example, his wife because they have a lot together. It's a lot of work to dehumanize and objectify the wife. He has to overcome a lot more. He has to overcome his memories, his initial emotions. It's a mess. So intimacy puts a damper on the sex. It reduces the sex, sexual drive.
The minute she enters the bed, it's an intimate situation. The sex is gone. It's not fear of intimacy. There's many, many narcissists ironically seek intimacy, want intimacy, dream about intimacy. But it's the fact that intimacy and sex are so detached in the narcissist's mind that they had come to negate each other.
