I want more from the man I am involved with and I hope you can help me. Tim has been seeing me for 3 years. He comes by every Friday night and we go out dancing or somewhere else and have a good time. I let him make all the plans.
He sleeps over and we stay together until Sunday night when he leaves. We have never had a fight. Our intimacy is really good. My problem is I want to be in a relationship with him, but we are just FWB and it hurts. He sometimes answers his phone when I call so I stopped calling. I feel bad for sneaking, but was happy to see nothing there. I just cried a little. He was intimate with me again and kept saying he loves me. He stayed the night. I want to live with him.
What can I do to be more to him than a friend that he loves? HUGS to you. I know how hurting that must have felt. You can only inspire him to change. So you have to work on you and give him a chance to step up to meet your needs if he can. This is going to be long, so please be sure to print this out so you can read it over and follow each of the six steps this week.
Breathe deeply again, pushing your stomach out. Keep doing this until your stomach feels soft and not tense. Let your arms hang at your sides and let their weight pull your shoulders down. Keep doing this until your shoulders feel soft and not tense. Feel all of your feelings in that moment.
For example you could feel angry, but going deeper, you could be feeling fear underneath that. I feel it in my chest. This sad feeling makes me feel like crying. This is about being in touch with your feelings each possible moment. So speak the most positive feeling first. Look for the good in your feelings. Practice speaking this way as often as you can. You can practice on different people you interact with on a daily basis. This could be men at work, in a store, in a laundry mat, at the cleaners, in a deli or in a restaurant.
