Growing up in the UK, the dating scene was not an ordeal. We no longer needed the approval of our dads and the days of being chaperoned while on a date were firmly rooted in the history books. Therefore, when I moved to Turkey, I was in for a shock, especially when it came to the dating scene. Looking back, I realize my naivety was shining like a lighthouse beacon. The first signs of a difference in courting rituals between my home country of the UK and Turkey were evident on my first holiday.
We had signed up for a rough and tumble Jeep safari around the mountains of Marmaris. We passed beautiful waterfalls on unknown country roads before arriving at a small village. This was traditional Turkey away from the manmade holiday resorts.
Despite the heat of the summer sun, the women were dressed in long sleeve shirts, traditional flower pants and their heads were covered. Gardens were filled with goats and chickens running around bundles of chopped firewood. The local teahouses were filled with old men assessing the foreigners who had so abruptly arrived in their village. However, I was more interested in the roof of one of the houses.
An empty milk bottle stood on the beam. The guide told me the father of the house had put it there. It was a sign that his daughter was ready for marriage. Any man who could knock the milk bottle off the roof could ask for the daughters hand in marriage. I was truly shocked and over the next five years would hear of many other regional traditions. Ranging from the girl judged on her potential to be a good wife from how good her coffee tasted.
There was also the tale of a girls dowry would depend on how much she weighed, hence the encouragement by the family to put on weight. The traditions and wedding styles largely depends on which area of Turkey the couple originates. One friend working in tourism returned to his village, to follow up a potential match arranged by his mother. The marriage was not allowed because the man continued working in tourism, and this was not considered a stable income.
