Love is hard to find. And intimacy, often a subconscious feeling of closeness, is scary. Meanwhile, British singer and songwriter Adele personifies the art of intimacy and vulnerability singing, "I know it ain't easy giving up your heart" but "I dare you to let me be your one and only.
Most of us say that we want to find a loving partner, but many of us have deep-seated fears of intimacy that make it difficult to be in a close relationship--which is maybe what Johnny Cash's song is really all about. The original play tells the story of a couple's complete marital breakdown, and failure. The movie adaption with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton is so good, it's impossible to watch or sit through without a drink in hand.
Most grotesque marriages with no intimacy usually are difficult to witness. The story here, as in so many other marriages, is simply Martha and George do not have the emotional capacity to recognize each others' discomfort, let alone be intimate with each other. Instead, George and Martha evade the ugliness of their marriage by taking refuge in perfect illusion. If we felt unloved or ignored as children, we may have a hard time believing that someone could really love and value us, thus as adults people often will do anything to escape this unconscious fear and intimacy -- even have numb, superficial or dysfunctional relationships.
A fear of intimacy knocked on my family's door three years ago. Three weeks before my husband walked out on two small babies and I, what I remember is not what he said, but what music he played, repeatedly in his car, in our home, on his iPod. With you. Yes, it's safe to assume this song was not played with me in mind at that particular juncture in time; more especially since I was busy with a sick one-year-old.
That's okay, we are better friends now. The lyrics I played in response in my head, after he left were, "You ever pray with all your heart and soul just to watch [him] walk away?
