If we can commit to checking our email regularly, tuning in to our favorite TV shows, or even squeezing in that 5 AM workout, why can we not commit to investing the time needed to keep our relationships healthy? And furthermore, what happens if we cannot delegate the same commitment we do to work, chores and children, to our own spouse? Realizing that a lack of commitment can lead to divorce or drifting apart from your spouse, is the first step towards taking action in repairing this concern.
Researcher Scott Stanley from the University of Denver identifies two types of commitment that may be present in a marriage. For instance, constraint commitment can range from children, finances, or even the length of time you have spent with your spouse.
Dedication commitment takes more than just two individuals living life near and around one another. This commitment takes putting your marriage as a top priority, and a willingness to work together to make your marriage work. When one or both of these types of commitment is lacking in a marriage, the result is typically growing apart.
However, with effort, time and a willingness to change, commitment can be restored. It is important to remember that two individuals in a marriage, should always be evolving and developing. In a healthy relationship, two people never remain stagnant over a long period of time, but are expected to change in many ways. By embracing your partner for who they are and where they are in life, you can begin to re-commit and invest in your marriage once again. Remember that lack of commitment is a perception, and the view you have of that perceived commitment can grow and change over time.
A renewed sense of commitment to your marriage can begin by being honest with yourself and your spouse. Ask yourself questions such as:. By asking yourself these questions you invite the first step towards understanding where you and your spouse are at in the marriage. From there, you can begin to take further steps towards repairing the commitment that was lost. There are many healthy ways to increase your commitment over time.
