I live on a rural dirt road off a busy road. We have about seven neighbors and all know each other and help out when needed. We have a young couple with two young boys, 4 and 3, and she's pregnant with her third. The other day the 4-year-old showed up at our house, which is down a long hill and up our long driveway pretty far away from his house.
I immediately called the mother, who answered in a groggy voice as though she's been sleeping. I told her I had her son, and she said her husband would be right there.
When she and her husband came, the boy just kept running down another dirt path as I and the mother called to him. He paid no attention and kept running away. I turned to the mother and said, "I hope you give him a good spanking for this. I remember the few times I gave my kids a really good whooping was when they did something that endangered their lives. I don't believe you can raise a child without sometimes giving them a real shock when they do something very serious.
With all due respect, your question is not about when spanking is OK, since you state openly when you believe it is - to the degree that you're "furious" these neighbors didn't beat their child as you would have. Part of the reason is conceptual, in that I can't imagine siding with someone incensed at not striking a child.
No, I wasn't there to witness the danger and disrespect. But that allows me to stay back and see spanking for what it is, a violent act against the defenseless. Part of the reason is practical. Hitting the people you are presumably trying to teach not to hit is an effective way for parents to undermine their own message and expose themselves as hypocrites.
