You meet someone great. Or the two of you are interested in each other, but there are simply too many miles separating you, because of work, college, or family. The idea of dropping all communication seems crazyβso what do you do? You could argue that the advent of the internet essentially birthed this relationship dynamic. Online communication means people can engage in the three so-called relationship maintenance behaviors :.
In a piece of research , a team led by communications expert Jayson Dibble of Michigan State University addressed three questions relating to this relatively novel form of human relationship:.
Participants reported whether they were single, in a casual relationship, or in a committed relationship, and identified their back burners by stating how many people they were in touch with for the purpose of hoping to become romantically or sexually attached. Finally, they named their most important back burner, and were asked whether they employed relationship maintenance behaviors with that person. Although there was little difference in the use of the three behaviors between singles and casual daters, people in committed relationships employed lower levels of positivity and assurance, why?
Because commitment means disregarding potential replacements and having less time to communicate with back burners, as well as entails the risk of discovery and repercussions for clandestine interactions. In other words, over half of the participants who were already in long-term relationships were nevertheless in contact with at least one person outside their partnership for the expressed purpose of perhaps striking up a romance or sexual dynamic with them one day.
This would be especially true if the relationship has been on the rocks of late. The rise of back burner relationships since the widespread adoption of social media and electronic communication is a fascinating manifestation of human dating proclivities. It shows an inherent opportunism which arguably lies dormant in the majority of peopleβif not all of usβready to be ignited when we have the means and motive.
