As I watched the trailer, I thought, That literally looks like us. There were two blonde people kissing, wearing dance clothes. It was so obviously cast to look just like me and my ex-boyfriend Chase Finlay, the man who shared revenge porn of me with his friends , who were also principal dancers at New York City Ballet.
I felt weird about it, and then I felt anxious. You never know how the media is going to portray you, and this was a TV show taking what happened to me and making it their own; they could do anything that they wanted with my story.
And then I felt angry, which is how I feel about a lot of things these days. No one at SVU talked to me about my story, or told me that they were making an episode that was so clearly based on what happened to me. Now I understood why. I watch it almost every day, or I used to.
I think that the conversation that the show has created about sexual violence has impacted society for the better. But this felt like they took advantage of me, which is a hell of a thing to do to a survivor of sexual violence.
Chase resigned. The other two dancers were fired, but appealed the decision with the help of their union, and the company offered them their jobs back. The case is ongoing. After I watched the trailer, I called my lawyers. Are they allowed to tell this story without my permission? Is it even legal? I mean, SVU has been doing this for 21 seasons. They obviously have a legal way around it. Plus, my lawyers said, in a sense the episode was a good thing.
