If, instead of standing stiff-armed and choked, they could have had a long strong hug, from which to draw strength and assurance, as they faced the hardship their futures would bring.
The farmer leaving the land will not find the opportunity for any support, comfort or appreciation. A night out with the boys β the terrible trio joined briefly by the lovely Miss S. Three expats from places few, if any, of our students have ever visited, on a Saturday night in a pseudo-Irish pub named the Dublin , a watering hole with as little connection to the Irish capital as an African has with Greenland. A man who lacks a network of friends is seriously impaired from living his life, from loving his life.
Friends alleviate the neurotic overdependence on a wife or a girlfriend for every emotional need. If his problems are with his partner as they often are then his friends can help him through, talk sense into him, stop him acting stupidly and help him to release his grief.
But where women instinctively seem to have no trouble expressing themselves, many men are not as fortunate. However, we are still coached in the possibility of being sent to war, still expected to be tough when needed. But being able to also let go of these feelings, when the time is right, is another matter entirely. But banter and warmth to counter the internal struggle of loss and shame teaches us respect for pain and endurance. Failing to express the depth of what a man feels leads to a shutdown in the full spectrum of emotions β anger, fear, warmth and love.
Noisy, energetic, affectionate, ribald, accepting, cautious, but free from respectability or restraint. We each have our own cross to bear, but it is comforting to know that others care burdens equal to our own. For the rest, I have lived, and always will live, my life as it can be lived at its best, with art, music, poetry, literature, science, philosophy and thought. I shall know the keener pleasures, as long as I can and as much as I can.
